I am SO excited to introduce you to today’s guest writer – Alisa Kapinos Goldberg, Fashion Stylist & Wardrobe Consultant (and one of my former brides! You might remember her Newport-chic all-white wedding). Alisa has worked with many high profile clients, and really knows her stuff. Make sure to check out her website! Alisa is here today to share her tips on choosing your wedding dress… So fun!!!
As a bride, you have an overwhelming number of decisions to make for that one day to be as memorable as possible. I know, I’ve been there myself. One of the most important decisions you’ll make is choosing the style you want to incorporate into your big day. Your bridesmaid dresses, your groom and groomsmens’ attire and of course, yourself… the big dress decision!
As a professional stylist and wardrobe consultant to many lucky Bostonians, tackling the wedding dress avenue is something that I get extremely excited about! Working in this industry for many years, going to every season’s Fashion Week in New York, working on countless photoshoots and writing articles on style and fashion, bridal fashion is something I am thrilled to be involved with. I’m getting on my bridal fashion soapbox and preaching!
Picking the Perfect Dress 101
As a stylist and as a woman that’s walked down the bridal carpet, I know how hard it is to choose a dress for your big day and convince yourself that it’s THE ONE. With so many choices, with so many people that you want to please, it’s hard to get your bridal brain straight about what you really need, and more importantly, what you want. Here are a couple tips from a stylist’s point of view that you can engrave in your head or even print out and bring to your next dress appointment that will protect you from the sometimes-wicked task of dress shopping.
1. If you’re a beginner, you’re in good hands. You’re going in with a fresh view on how this experience will be and how you want to look on your day. My suggestion, and this is what I’ve told my clients and friends who have been looking for dresses: go to a bridal boutique that lets you browse through the dresses yourself. Two good examples are David’s Bridal or Vows. If you’ve always pictured yourself in a full ball gown, then by all means, bring a ball gown into the dressing room with you, BUT, don’t be afraid to experiment as well! Check out the mermaid or A-line dress on the next hanger over. I guarantee you’ll be impressed with how different your perspective will be on how you want to look on the big day. Going to a place that lets you browse yourself, gives you the freedom to experiment and not feel like someone else is making the decision for you. Try on a couple of different styles and see which one you like the best, or at least narrow it down to 2 styles. If you haven’t found your dress at the first place, don’t stress. Boston and its surrounding towns have plenty to offer – start making more appointments!
2. Functionality~
When picking a dress, please think about functionality. If you’re getting married in February, on a beautiful golf course in New Hampshire, a lightweight silk dress doesn’t seem too functional. Just the same, if you’re wedding is in the middle of July under tents on a lawn, an all-tulle ball gown will make you lose water weight faster than you ever thought possible. Just because it’s a dress you’ve been dreaming about or the hottest thing in wedding land since Chiavari chairs, doesn’t mean it’s the smart thing to wear. Consider the time of year and the location before setting your heart on a dress… you’ll thank me later.
3. Color~
We all know that in Western culture, brides wear white. Most think it represents purity, but in fact it’s the color blue, not white. White dresses became popular in the mid 19th century when Queen Victoria decided on white for the sole purpose of matching the dress to the color of lace. Out of respect for the Queen, every bride followed suit. Today, walk into any bridal salon and you’ll be given variations of “purity” in white, cream, eggshell, ivory and blush. My suggestion is to try the colors against your skin tone, consider what the color of your skin will be at the time of the wedding (more tan/more pale?) and really think if you want a stark white dress or if you want to mix it up with a blush colored gown. When I was choosing mine, the sample came in a blush color. When I tried it on, I absolutely loved it! It was all tulle, like a ballerina’s costume, I thought blush was so appropriate. Then I considered my summer wedding when I would be tanner and celebrating outside. Would blush really go with my theme of an all-white wedding? Would it look good against my tan skin? Do I really want a blush colored dress for my wedding instead of white? I decided on white, which luckily I could order. But, a lot of dresses only come in one color, so again, before you settle on a dress, make sure that you’re ready to compromise on the color that it comes in…and leave the purity tale at the bridal salon.
4. Groom’s Take~
Many brides have been breaking tradition and taking their men along for the ride… nothing wrong with this, just remember, it’s just ONE more opinion to think about when the final verdict is due. My suggestion, leave your guy where he belongs, in front of the tv or hanging with his buddies. No matter what you end up wearing, he’ll still think you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen! It’s your day, you’re the one that has to wear the dress, you’re the one that has to feel comfortable in it for hours on end. Stylistically, if you’ve got a picky dude, he’ll pick the dress that he thinks looks good on you, but is he really taking into consideration all the things I’ve talked about? Leave the dress shopping to the women’s club… there’s a reason why men have been left out for so long… girls only!
5. Add Ons~
Something that I tell a lot of brides is that they’re allowed to use their imagination on this one. Yes, Melissa, Carolina, Priscilla, Vera, even Monique have designed their dresses to perfection, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t design for yourself. Never rule out a dress if there are design elements that can be taken out or added in. The dress I chose for my wedding was strapless with a small dip in the neckline. I decided to dip the neckline a bit more, into an almost sweetheart shape to create a more flattering form to my bust. Also, I added a few more Swarovski crystal details to the top of the dress and it turned out beautifully! Use your imagination or have your sales associate show you options for sashes of different colors, bows, flowers, broaches, options for adding on more bling or taking it off. You can also change the shape of your straps or just take them off completely. And in some cases, if the dress is too puffy or not puffy enough, adding or taking out some petticoats can make a big difference. Get creative, but always make sure that if you’re considering anything dramatic, consult the alterations person first. You’re a bride after all, not a couturier.
*Photo of Alisa’s dress by Amanda Ambrose
6. Fit and Flatter~
The most obvious, but one of the most important things to keep in mind is the fit of the dress. Not all womens’ bodies are created equal. Just because you see the perfect dress on a model, doesn’t mean it’s going to fit you the exact same way. There are certain rules for lines, cuts and shapes in detail that can turn you from a beautiful bride into a not so beautiful oversized cupcake. Without getting into all the rules of styling in this article, just keep in mind that you’re looking for a dress that not only represents you as a bride, but one that fits you to perfection. Look for features in the dress that may appear to cut you in half: strong horizontal lines (from sashes or dramatic roucheing). Look for the best fit for your bust: if your boobs are spilling out in front, top or God forbid, side, this is not flattering. Consider what you want to hide and what you want to show off: if you have great arms, but are conscious of your short legs, wear a strapless gown with a streamlined body which will elongate not only your arms, but with the help of a pair of fab heels, your entire body as well. More articles on this to come… I promise!
7. What Were You Thinking?~
To me, this is the most important thing to think about… when you look at your wedding pictures in 5, 10, even 50 years, are you going to say to yourself, ‘what was I thinking?’ Your wedding day is one day, but your pictures last a lifetime. After going through pages and pages of wedding magazines or trying on dress after dress, it’s so easy to get sucked into what the current trends are. That’s exactly what they are, they’re current. Designers put out seasonal lines of dresses with cues from what’s going on in the world of fashion. Each season, they design pieces that are true to their name, but push the envelope a bit to stay en trend. Once the line has walked down the runway, it’s onto the next season and almost forgotten. Your walk down the bridal runway gets immortalized on film, in books, on mantels… it’s never forgotten. My suggestion is to jump outside your excited self for a few and really consider whether you’re loving this dress because it’s the newest and greatest Monique has ever designed or because it will stand the test of time.
Be weary of features on the dress that scream ‘look at me! I’m here and I’m trendy!’. One-shouldered dresses: a beautiful detail that really does work with any body style. Seen on all the red carpets, on all the runways… but so were puffy shoulders and veils in the 80’s … and look where that got us. Big flower detailing on the shoulder or bodice: if you’re after a dramatic touch, this has glamour written all over it. Sheer ribbing detail: Not my favorite trend at all, but definitely a unique design for the bride looking for a sexy twist. Sea of ruffles: A growing trend, also seen on the runways and red carpets, replacing the trend of the gowns with heavy pick-ups.
*Photo via Oscar de la Renta
As a stylist, seeing these trends every season is beyond exciting, and when I shopped for my own dress, it was extremely tempting to seal the deal with the most en trend design. If you’re loving a dress, please try to consider its “bridal shelf life”. If you can be honest with yourself and think that you really do love it but it won’t stand the test of time, ask your sales associate if there is a dress similar in trend but a bit toned down. For example, another trend that I almost fell for is the chiffon flower petal details taking over the entire dress. Absolutely beautiful, but, why not take a more toned down version like the Oscar de la Renta tulle ball gown with beaded flower detail. You’ve got that timeless flower detailing without looking like you just got attacked by a florist.
I hope this little checklist of things to think about will help with your decision. With so many opinions flying around that salon and with so many choices, it’s easy to get overwhelmed with the process. Choosing a dress should be one of the best experiences of your life, something you can look back on in the years to come and smile. Happy choosing!
Thanks, Alisa! Stay tuned for many more articles from Alisa in the future!
XO
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