Throughout the past year and a half that G and I have been planning my our wedding, nearly everyone I have spoken with about it (clients, friends, friends of friends, vendors), has said something along the lines of “well, it must be so easy for you, since you’re a wedding planner!” and “did YOU hire a wedding planner?”… Well… Yes and no.
Yes, some things have been much easier for me, as a planner, planning my own wedding. As I like to say, all of the vendors that I’ve hired are my “work friends”… all of you have them – those people that make the work day just a little bit better – well, me too, mine just happen to be photographers, caterers and band members! So no, I didn’t have to do a lot of vendor research, or go to a lot of meetings, scouting out who I thought would be the best person for the job. However, I did have to make most of the same decisions as any bride -what is my photography style? What do I want the guest dining experience to be like? What types of flowers do I like more than any other types of flowers? What’s my budget?
*Bride’s Binder via Russell & Hazel
I’ve found the best way for me to plan my own wedding has been to treat myself as a client. If you are unable, for whatever reason, to hire a planner for yourself, I suggest you do the same – here are some tips:
1. Start with a solid budget.
Always start by knowing the bottom line number you want to spend. There are many budgeting tools available online (for instance, on theknot.com), use something like this as a guide, but not as your bible. Most couples have one or two areas that are just hands down the most important thing, photography, the band, whatever. It’s okay to put more of a percentage of your budget towards those things, as long as you find somewhere else that you don’t mind scrimping a bit. Adjust the budget formula to fit your wedding, don’t adjust your wedding to fit the formula.
2. Look for your vendors in good places.
Googling “Boston Wedding Photographers” is a place to start, but maybe not a “good place”. Choosing from 100,000 links is overwhelming for anyone. There are so many better ways to find your vendors. One of the main reasons we started this blog was so that every bride, planner-less or not, could have access to information on some of the most solid vendors working in Boston today. Disclaimer: this is NOT to say that there aren’t many vendors who are not on Our Favorite Vendor list who aren’t wonderful, and great at their jobs. But, Our Favorite Vendors truly are some of our favorites, vendors that we have worked with succsessfully several times, vendors that we as planners trust. Our Favorite Vendors list would be a good place to find vendor recommendations. Another great resource is the vendors you’ve already hired – ask your vendors for recommendations – vendors will not recommend another vendor that they haven’t had a good experience working with in the past.
3. Hire the vendor that you love the most.
Yes, it’s important to hire the caterer that can give you the menu that you want, the florist who’s style is a good match for your look, and the cinematographer that fits into your budget. However, it’s JUST as important to hire the vendor that you trust, and that you really like on a personal level. It’s very likely that you will be working with these people for a year or more, and you will be trusting them to handle hundreds of tiny details for you – you need to feel comfortable with your vendors, you need to like them and you need to trust them. While it’s a rather extreme case for me, I think this is the biggest thing that has made planning my wedding easier. I trust my vendors to “do the right thing” at every step of the process. Yes, I do have more knowledge about my vendors and how they work than many brides might, but the overall idea is the same – I like them, I trust them, they like me, so I know they will do their best work for me.
4. Ask for help when you need it.
There will be times when you just come to a roadblock. A detail you just can’t make a decision on, a piece of the puzzle that you just can’t make fit. It’s okay to ask for help! Ask for advice from your vendors! A detail that seems really hard to figure out for you might be an easy answer for the right person, and if not, they will tell you. Know what your resources are when you get stuck. Yes, there have been times when I’ve felt stuck while planning my wedding, and I turn to Linnea and Megan, the ladies I work with for help. Not to shamelessly plug our business, but did you know that most times clients don’t hire us to help with planning their entire wedding? Sometimes brides come to us who just need help finding one certain vendor – we can help with that! Or sometimes they just need a little bit of guidance on how to pull all their decor ideas together into one cohesive look – we can help with that too! Sometimes brides just want to sit down for a couple of hours and iron out some details – we love to do that! Bottom line is, it can’t hurt to ask. If a vendor can’t help you the way you need help, they will tell you. They won’t be mad at you for asking -most likely (if they’re anything like me), they will feel badly if they can’t help.
Overall, the biggest tip I can give you is just to have fun! Planning your wedding is supposed to be fun. End of story. If you get to a point where you’re not having fun anymore, put down your binder and step away from the planning for a minute. Think about what is stressing you out and think about what would make this particular piece of planning easier. I tend to get stressed when I stop looking at everything as small pieces that need to fit together, and instead think of the wedding as this big huge thing that needs to be accomplished. I think that happens to everyone at some point. When it does, step back and remember it’s all just little pieces and there is a plan for, and someone that can help with every part.
Brides – what’s the best decision you’ve made in the planning process? I’m sure there’s another bride reading right now who would love your tips! Do you have questions for me or for other brides? Let’s hear them!
Vendors – what’s your best tip for a bride just starting the planning process? What’s something you wish every bride knew?
Let’s start a discussion people!
XO
All wonderful tips!! You must have a good rapport with your vendors – just a hint of incompatability can throw the day off. You’ll be working with them on one of the most important days of your life – do you really want any signs of friction?! FUN is key, too. Enjoy the planning and the day; try not to stress. Remember, its about saying ‘I Do’ to the man/woman you love.
Great tips, I’m planner-less and appreciate the ideas here!
@MAWeddingGuide – absolutely agree! It’s all about building a TEAM of vendors! XO
@Dognbird – so glad to help! How are your plans coming along? XO